Something David Letterman and I have in common

A love of lists:

5 Things I am Very Excited For:
1. New job!
2. New house (move in is only a few weeks away! Seriously, when I have a moment the new house deserves an update)
3. Anniversary Tonto roadtrip (boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Sheesh.)
4. End of AmeriCorps
5. Civic engagement project at new job, specifically

If I were to make a list of five things I am currently terrified of, it would be the exact same list--the new job stuff makes sense, I suppose--typical fear of failure--but everything else is a little stranger. As I get older, I find myself becoming more and more afraid of change and commitment.

My trepidation I feel about he anniversary and new house are directly related. Boyfriend and I have been together for three years now--an amount of time that just seems unreal and bizarre. Not to say that I'm not grateful for it, and every second means the world to me, but that's a lot of time for someone who's 23. The new house is our first place alone together. We've been living together for the past two years, but in a house full of roommates. This time it's just mano y mano, and that's a little scary. There's also the money stuff--it'll be an increase in rent, and no more splitting utilities five ways. That's scary too.

Could a quarter-life crisis be brewing? I hope not. I feel like I've had six already. If those are just a warm up, we should all duck and cover.

Picture from here.

IN WHICH our heroine takes a shaky step forward

I was feeling huffy and ignored because a bunch of my favorite bloggers haven't been updated as frequently as I'd like them to. And by that, I mean every day.

I then realized that maybe I should do a little writing myself before I judge.

I had an absolutely amazing meeting with my program manager yesterday--just talking about what I'm doing after my year of service, what my next steps are, and what I want. Having a chance to talk out my dreams and worries and plans with someone was fantastic for clearing my head and coming to a place where I feel comfortable.

I'm on the right track. I just need to keep going.

Small successes: being nominated, taking a deep breath, and trying something new. Apartment Therapy is having their annual meet up in a few weeks, and I RSVP'ed to attend the one closest to me. I'm pretty excited about it. I'll give me a chance to reach out to people who have similar tastes and hobbies to mine, and to practice what I preach about all that community building stuff.

It's starting to really warm up, and against my better judgment, I'm going camping this weekend. I'll let you know how that works out.

ON pining and planning

It seems that my little excursion last weekend didn't whet my appetite for the open road. I'm wanting the ocean, people.

My boyfriend is handsome (oh, how I miss his long hair). 

Picture from two years ago, when he and I took our first trip to California. He and I had only done a few small trips to Flagstaff before, and he had planned both trips. He's much more of the "it'll work itself out when we get there" type, while I had our hotel reserved a month in advance, with a clear plan of restaurants and things to do. We've had fun on every trip that we've taken together, so I guess it really doesn't matter if I don't have a precise itinerary. I just really like making lists.

Like right now.

In the next two months, I will be unemployed and homeless (so to speak). My term of service with AmeriCorps will be over at the end of June, and my lease is up at the end of July. I do not know where I will be working or where I will live. This terrifies me. And excites me, just a smidge.

I've been applying for jobs here and there, but the unholy trinity of a bad economy, almost no experience, and a degree that translates to almost nothing (good job, Global Studies. Pfft.) are not working in my favor.

A few really amazing opportunities have been presented to me--but they'd be unpaid. I've been interning with a political campaign for the past five months, and I've been given some amazing responsibility and I love what I'm doing--and I'm doing it well.  A friend of mine has also asked that I help with rolling out his organization's election communication plan. Um, yes. Hi. Dream jobs. Both of them.

There's only the tiny problem of needing to pay the bills. I've applied for jobs that would pay me (ha! novel concept) but I wouldn't be doing the type of work I want to, just putting in entry level time at either organizations with missions that I feel good about, or that might someday lead to more responsibility or an "in" to the communications department.

So, do I find a serving / bartending / receptionist job to pay the bills, and take the unpaid experience for what it's worth? Or do I plug away at something that I might make marginally more money at, but doesn't do much in the way of what I want to do?

Plus, I really, really want to go to grad school--but I don't want to A) take a GRE and actually, you know, apply and B) loose my network here in Phoenix. I have an amazing group of friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, classmates, and professors who I can call on for an extra volunteer, a reference, or an introduction. If I started studying now, it would be at least a year before I could start.

As of now, I'm leaning toward the "unpaid opportunities." I don't have a car payment, credit card debt, a mortgage, a husband, or kids. My student loans are negligible. If there was a time to work for free, this would be it.

So, forces of the universe / internet, if you were me, what would you do?

IN WHICH we discuss color obsessions

In case you haven't guessed, I'm just the tiniest bit neurotic. And a little bit obsessive. Just a bit.

On top of making endless lists and color-coding my calendar, I find myself going through different phases where I am unexplicably drawn to certain colors. A few winters ago, it was eggplant. I bought a purse, a long coat, a pair of really cute little flats. I have more mustard accessories than I care to admit. Right now, that color is a dark teal:

 

Dress, Forever 21 (Seriously, guys. Have you seen their new Boutique collection? TO DIE FOR.)

Blazer, Gap, thrifted from Sunset Clothing Exchange

Purse & Moccasins, Old Navy (50%!)

I also bought this shirt, which isn't in the picture because it's in the laundry. 

I picked up on my fashion-related color obsession a few years ago, so I know how to deal with it--identify the problem, and try to buy new pieces that will coordinate well with it. And neutrals. I always have to force myself to wear neutrals, because, apparently, some would say that mustard doesn't match everything. (Fools)

However, a few days ago, I realized that my color obsession extends to housewares, too. You know what my color-for-home obsession at the moment?

 

Vintage velvet swivel easy chair / rocker, Goodwill. Yeah, it's pretty much the coolest chair ever. Way to go, me.

Orange. 

Uh, yeah, like anything goes with that. 

Remember when I found out about the Shakespeare Billys? You know which one I found myself lingering over? The orange one. I just bought a piece of art from my work's silent auction:

 

Photo via the artist, Jon Arvizu

And I'm totally lusting over this piece from Cozy Little Cave:

 

$25 on Etsy

I need help. If left to my own devices, my house is going to look like a Chester the Cheetah threw up.

Do you find yourself being drawn to certain colors frequently, to--dare I say--excess? How do you deal with the impulse to throw a certain color all over your house?